PATIENT: I keep thinking that I’m a pair of curtains. DOCTOR: For heaven’s sake, pull yourself together!
PATIENT: I can’t control my aggression. DOC: How long have you had thus problem?PATIENT: Who wants to know?
A woman went to the doctor.DOCTOR: You’ve got Tuberculosis. The shocked woman said: I don’t believe you! I want a second opinion.
DOCTOR: O.K., You’re ugly as well!
How do you tell the difference between male and female chromosomes? Pull down their genes!
How do you differentiate the doctors?
GENERAL PRACTITIONERS: Know nothing and do little.
SURGEONS: Know little and do everything.
INTERNISTS: Know everything and do nothing.
PATHOLOGISTS: Know everything and can do everything but its usually too late!
Man goes to chemist: I want to buy poison. CHEMIST: I can´t sell you that. Man shows wife ´s photo. CHEMIST: Oh, sorry. I didn´t know you had a prescription!
´ Help´ came a frantic cry in a train compartment ´ Is there a doctor here?´ ´ I an a doctor´ responded a man leaping in from the next compartment. ´ Who needs help?´ ´ I do´ a passenger responded gladly. ´ Tell me, what is the name of a throat dease consisting of six letters´!
The man told his doctor that he was not able to do all the things around the house that he used to do. When the dxam was over he asked: Now doc, can I have it? Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me. Doc replied: Well, in plain English, you are just lazy. The man said: OK. Now give me the medical term so that I can tell my wife!
What is a double-blind study? Two orthopaedicians reading an ECG!
Large crowd was surrounding a car accident. On hearing about this, a doc arrived and tried to reach the spot but was each time he was pushed back. Finally he shouted: Let me go, the victim is my father. The crowd paved the way for him and then he saw a dead donkey lying in front of the car!